Category Archives: Ranting
Guns, Knives, Rhinoceros Intimacy, and Fairy Cake
“I want to be intimately involved with a black rhinoceros.” Remember that sentence. No, really… commit that sentence to memory. We’ll get back to it in a little bit. Remember back in the early aughts, when the National Rifle Association — … Continue reading
Heartbreak is a Lasagna
I don’t like Pyrex. I’m not an real big fan of formal “cookware” in general, actually. I prefer those cheap, aluminum foil-based roasting pans you can get at the supermarket for like three bucks. They’re inexpensive, bend rather than break, you … Continue reading
Mysterious Guy Friend
I just learned that Traci Nobles, an otherwise entirely unremarkable cheerleading coach from Georgia, has published an entire book based upon the fact that she received text messages from Anthony Weiner. I’m not kidding about that, either… an entire book … Continue reading
The Starbucks Boycott
Recently, people have been asking me why, specifically, I’ve been boycotting Starbucks for the past two years. I have insofar managed to not tell the story, on the grounds that it gets rather long and winding, is comprised of a … Continue reading
Slugfest
I walked outside earlier and I saw a slug on the sidewalk. He had been there since the night before because I’d seen him then too… except that, rather than being the young, vibrant and healthy slug he had been … Continue reading
Bringin’ the Heat
Spring has been in the air now for close to a month (I know this primarily because I’m violently allergic to it) and summer looms menacingly around the corner. Old Mister Sun is starting to wake up, and he’s staring … Continue reading
Bloodsuckers, the L-Word and a Weird Myth
As I write this, it is February fourth, and in a mere ten days there will be an event known as Valentine’s Day. It has also been referred to (often by me) as “Oh-Sweet-Unholy-Crap-I-Forgot-It-Was-Valentine’s-Day Day” but, whatever you might happen … Continue reading
Infomadness
Picture this: it’s 3AM on a weeknight and you’re bored, maybe sporting a serious case of insomnia. You give up trying to get to sleep, because it’s futile, and wander downstairs to get a snack, maybe watch some TV. If … Continue reading
Just West of Hell 